Chapter 1

I sat in my room and breathed. In and out. In and out. To most this would probably seem a simple biological task, usually easily dealt with by the body.

Not in this case. It seemed my entire brain and body duo had decided to shut down for the time being, in a desperate attempt to keep the thoughts out. The one returning thought I couldn’t escape and was forced to face over and over again as it splattered itself on my see through mind-shield, like a kid smearing his face on a school-bus window.  

Go talk to him.

Go away damn thought! The right thing to do is not necessarily the most painful! Whoever came up
with that logic anyway?

Go talk to him. It’ll make you feel better.

Oh yeah, like that’s gonna work. No way, all he’ll do is patronize or make fun of me. I’ve had enough of that in the past few days to last me a life time…

I laid back in bed, letting my eyes go bleary, and hopefully my mind go blank. Nothing doing. An off-switch, that’s what I need.

Ya see, when my Dad told me and my Mom that a friggin Monk was coming to base at our house, the first image that inevitably popped into my head was a fat, bald, chortle-y Friar Tuck character. I expected a guy who hummed with his eyes closed and maybe even floated every now and then.

I did not expect Tal.

I don’t think any of us did. Definitely not my parents, anyway. They were pretty pissed off about it to tell you the truth, but the order came from on high, so all they could really do was whine. Which they did outstandingly.

Me? I can lie and say I didn’t give a flying fruit-bat one way or another, but the truth was, I was just dying for something to happen. Anything to break the monotony. See, this was my Inter-year. That ever-lasting yet gone-before-you-know-it year I had to fill before the army claimed my 18-year-old soul. School was over, and all my friends were off having their Spiritual Awakenings over at the countless off-planet-frontiers, or what was left of ancient Terra’s rainforests and deserts.  Delighting in the third world. I never felt drawn to that sort of thing anyway, besides the fact that my savings equaled nearly zilch, after I’d finished the payments on my saxophone. So I got a job, even if it wasn’t exactly something I could count on keeping my days in order. I joined the Giso Donello Band, and crossed that light speckled line between the fed and the feeding. I was a performer, and I was good at it. I rubbed shoulders with the relics of what used to be to my age groups’ gods, but now were the scum that loitered outside the cheap vodka fountains.

Night turned into day, and like sand through a screen, my former life drifted away, hardly noticed. I woke up one evening and realized I hadn’t a friend under thirty.

I didn’t mind as much as you’d expect. I liked the old guys, they did everything according to a different rhythm, and a different code. Donello was turning seventy in march, and the rest of them were all pretty much in that same phase of life. Except Pamil, who was thirty two, and therefore nicknamed The Kid. My nickname was usually Baby, and when in third person The Little Lady. I complained about it for a while, then Pamil told me to give up.

I played with them almost every night of the week, but still my days felt empty. My life felt empty. So the thought of a Monk coming to stay with my family had more then a bit of appeal to my bored-to-death disposition.

We didn’t even have any idea where he was from, even the flight he came in on told us nothing – it was just the goddamn shuttle.

The night we were supposed to go pick him up from the Ben Gurion Space Port I was a bit rushed. I had a gig starting at eleven, but I didn’t want to miss this. His shuttle was supposed to land at seven thirty, which meant there was a slight possibility it might arrive before midnight.

Mom was holding the sign San had help make, and the name Tal Goomar was still somewhat visible beyond the finger paint. It looked like a very welcoming sign, but the woman who held it was a lot less then happy about letting a stranger into her home.

As luck would have it, his shuttle was less then two hours late, and it seemed I would manage to get a glimpse of our guest before I had to dash off. I craned my neck, but couldn’t see anyone in brown robes, or with a shiny pate, no one floating above the crowd or anything.

“Hey.” Said someone.

I turned around and looked up, way, way up into the face of what seemed to be a giant insect, but later turned out to be the most annoying Monk I’d ever met. The insect-effect was mostly accounted for by the glassy roundish shades he wore - the kind pilots use to keep out the glare of the stars. Under those shiny slabs of plastic tapered a respectable nose, and underneath that, a not so-respectable quirking mouth. To add insult to injury, the pointy chin sported a tuft of purple hair. All this unholy extravagance was framed by a chin-length brown mop.

“Who are you?” I tried to sound politely surprised.

The smile turned embarrassed, and the eyebrows – dyed purple as well, I noted with a shudder – rose in question. “Oh. Uh, I’m, I’m Tal Goomar. I saw your sign.” His voice broke lightly, and he gave a little laugh. What was he so nervous about anyway? I just raised my eyebrows and shouted over my shoulder, “Mom, I’ve found him!” then I turned back to Tal, “Mind if I state the obvious?” I asked.

“Go ahead.” He still sounded a bit jumpy, and was glancing over his shoulder, and mine.

“You don’t exactly look like a Monk.” I stressed that last word, half to gain his attention, which seemed to be wandering freely about the spaceport.

“We aren’t always what we seem.” He said distractedly.

Oh well thanks, I could get as much advice by reading the side of a cereal box!

“Yeah I know,” I said, confidentially, “Secretly I’m a tea kettle.”

That got his attention, he turned to me, “What?!”

“Lyla?” Came my father’s cautious voice, “Who’s this?”

“Our Monk.”

“What?”

Tal turned his quirky half smile on them, “I’m Tal Goomar, I’m supposed to base at your house.” He handed over a thick clump of what looked like official letters from someone or other. Mom looked them over critically, then finally looked up with a forced smile, “Well, welcome Tal. Let’s get a cab home, and I’ll fix us all some dinner.” Obviously Tal was the worst she could have possibly hoped for. Maybe somewhere in the bureaucracy someone had misspelled ‘Punk’.

“Count me out,” I told her, “I’ve just got time to shower and get going if we leave now.”

After we’d loaded Tal’s duffel into the cab and were speeding away in the tunnel, he turned to me and asked, “Where do you need to get to in such a hurry, anyway?”

I’d been contentedly tapping my fingers nervously on the dark window, listening to my parents argue in the front seats, and didn’t really feel like having a conversation at the moment. As curious as I was about Tal, I was still a bit rushed about the gig. “The Aurora Club, I gotta gig tonight. In like a freakin’ hour.” I started tapping on the window again.

“A gig? What kind of gig?” he seemed all settled back for a good chat.

I gave up being irritable and answered, “I play the saxophone.”

“What, like in a band and stuff? That’s pretty cool.”

“Yeah, like in a band and stuff.” It’s only my whole life and I’m gonna be friggin late and Giso’ll throw something at me. I just know it.   

“Can I come hear you play?”

I blinked at him. “Can you what? Did you hear me? I play the saxophone. This isn’t gonna be a trance party.” I explained.

He shrugged, “I’m not into that stuff anyway,” he said, then turned to me with that half-smile, “so what do you play, jazz? Rock and roll?”

I looked at him with surprise and a new dose of respect, “Yeah, yeah, I guess you can come.”
He placed his palms together and bowed his head, “Many thanks.” There was that smiled again. I was slowly learning to hate it. This dude was seriously starting to get on my nerves. He was making fun of me, or something!

“Many welcomes.” I said dryly, “You still have to pay at the door.”

When we got home I bolted into the shower, then out of the shower, and into the clothes I’d laid out that afternoon. Black pants black top, did my makeup at the speed of light, and coiled my hair out of the way into a knot above my neck. It gets really hot on stage, and I’d learned the hard way never to wear my hair down. I stood in front of the mirror for a second and nodded, satisfied. I looked absolutely plain. Whenever I try the ‘glamorous’ or even the ‘slightly pretty’ look, leaving the club after the gig becomes rent with difficulties.

But I’ve always been too vain to be very smart, so I humored my ego and wore a pair of earrings that set off my eyes. Just a little bit.

All in all I made good time, and had the breathing space for a cup of coffee before we left. Tapping my fingers nervously against the side of the mug, I walked into the living room to see something of a lovely scene.

San had apparently woken up when we got home, and was now sitting on Tal’s lap, talking animatedly about something or other. He was smiling, a full, real smile for once, and bouncing her up and down slightly on his knees. I glanced at my watch and saw we had about ten minutes before we really really really had to leave. So I leant against the doorframe and watched those two for a while, sipping my coffee slowly instead of inhaling it as usual.

He was still wearing those stupid glasses, though. What kind of moron wears those things in the house? San seemed to be thinking along the same lines and reached out a pudgy hand to knock them off his face. But he seemed to anticipate the move and started tickling her before she could do it.

“What’s with the shades?” I asked.

Both Tal and San looked up, surprised to see me standing there. San grinned and waved. Tal seemed to stiffen, and a slight wrinkle appeared between his purple eyebrows. Oh well, I’m glad to see you too. “What about ‘em?”

“Kinda weird to wear those things indoors, isn’t it?” I asked, straightening up and walking towards them slowly, sipping my coffee.

He shrugged, “If you say so.” He smiled again.

“I do. Light in here too harsh or something?” I asked, mirroring that goddamn smile right back at him.

“Aren’t you late?”

“Yessss!” I dropped the mug on the coffee table and leaned quickly over the sofa where my sax case lay, I grabbed my bag and overcoat from next to the door, “Come on come on come on!” I said, waving Tal briskly out the door and into the waiting cab. He grinned at me as he passed and slid quickly into the back seat. I tossed the sax in after him and then myself. “The Aurora Club,” I said breathlessly, holding the location-button down. And we were off.

We didn’t say anything in the cab, but I didn’t really notice the awkward silence. I was tapping my fingers nervously against the saxophone case and biting my lip. Tal seemed to be watching me out of the corner of his eye, but of course I couldn’t really tell with those damn goggles…

We reached the club, stepped in through the bead curtain, and I ducked just in time as a plastic ashtray flew over my head and hit Tal in the chest.

“We’ve been waiting for you to do the balance for nearly twenty minutes!” Giso growled hoarsely, standing on the stage where he had been a moment before bent over his Wurlitzer. “Even The Kid got here before you did, Baby.”

“Sorry, sorry.” I groaned, banging my case onto one of the only tables that had already been cleared of chairs. Myla was still removing most of them, and Aden was just turning on the lights in the bar. “I had family shit to take care of.” I said, not exactly lying. I started assembling the sax and stuck the reed in my mouth so no one would ask me any more questions.

That never works….

“So who’s the pilot?” Ryid looked up from his steel-string Ibanez, smiling with crooked teeth, the cigarette just hanging on to his lips.

“Tal Goomar,” I said, fitting the mouthpiece carefully onto the neck and smiling up at him, “Say hi, Tal.”

“Hi, Tal.”

Ryid laughed hoarsely, “Pleased to meet you Mr. Goomar,” he strummed a light Spanish chord, “I am Matthias Ryid.”

Just then Pamil came out of the bathroom, and grinned at me. I blew a long soft scale in greeting, and he said. “Clipboard.”

“Ashtray.” I smiled back.

“You win. Who’s the hunk?” Pamil put his hands on his hips and looked Tal over critically. It’s easy to get overwhelmed by these guys, and Tal was already blushing and halfway towards choking on his own spit.

I couldn’t help snorting, ‘hunk’? But I contained myself, “My family’s new pet Monk, Tal.” I said, and Pamil gave me a look. I groaned and rolled my eyes.

“Ah Lyla,” Pamil sighed, and looked over at Tal, who was still trying to fade somewhat into the woodwork, “she never ever brings in any hotties,” he said, and gave the poor Monk and accusative glance, “and when she does, it’s clergy!”    

“While you’re in here with a different guy every night!” Val, who had been leaning over his bass silently till now rose up in my defense. Pamil scowled at him and I laughed, even Tal seemed to loosen up a bit, though of course that only brought back that damn smile of his…

“Why are you all standing there checking out that poor boy instead of up here doing the goddamned balance!?” Giso rumbled over all our heads, he never really raised his voice, but that was only cause he didn’t need to. We all scrambled to our places, and Tal was left alone looking up at all of us with his hands in his pockets and his eyebrows raised.

I looked down my nose at him, and pointed to the corner booth, “Seat yourself mortal, and hearken while the gods play.”

Val, Ryid and even Giso laughed, but Pamil whistled, “Superiority complex…”

Slowly the place filled up, it was a busy night and we played our asses off, I felt the sweat rolling down the sides of my face all night. Giso roared over the café noise with that husky voice of his and Ryid and I played solo games over ‘Everyday’ for almost fifteen minutes.

Tal fell asleep in the back booth. Of course. But I couldn’t really blame him. We kept going strong till four in the morning, and then finally Giso said it was time for the free alcohol. We packed up everything, and the old guys started towards the bar. I glanced over at where Tal sat with his head laid back, his mouth open, snoring, and sighed. “I gotta take the baby home.” I said, pulling my strap off and shoving it in the case.

Pamil grinned at me and gave a slight tug at my nose, “He is pretty cute, you know.”

I smiled tiredly, “Yeah, if you like Technicolor facial hair, I guess. You can have him, Pamil.”

He looked over at the snoozing monk and it was his turn to sigh, “Too young, too young… alas where has my youth fled to?”

“He’s probably hiding somewhere under the bed.” I yawned, bending back to stretch. Pamil laughed and poked my stomach, “Very funny. Take that poor boy to bed, and treat yourself to a good long shower.”

“I don’t smell that bad, do I?”

“You’d be surprised.”   

~

The next afternoon I woke up, and lay in bed for a while, as usual, staring up at the ceiling. What was it I was getting out of bed for today?…

Oh yeah, weird monk guy’s around.

I hauled myself out of bed and took out my braid, letting long thick dark hair cascade over my shoulders and over my face, it was nice to have it all over the place for once, and not confined.

Then I headed out in search of caffeine.

“Good morning.” Said the rumpled looking Tal sitting at the breakfast table, his hands clasped around a steaming mug.

“G’mornin’.” I grumbled, and set about making something that resembled breakfast. Finally I settled for one of San’s snack-packs from the cupboard, all I had to do to prepare it was rip open the plastic. I’ve never been much of a cook.

Tal watched me with a smile, “Would you like me to fry you up an egg?” he asked. He looked absolutely ridiculous sitting there, disheveled pajama pants and undershirt, messy hair, face still lined from the pillow, but with those fancy glasses still in place. I shook my head and bit into the sugar-coated something or other. This was good enough for the moment.

“I hope you aren’t busy today.” Tal said matter of-factly.

I frowned, was this guy expecting me to show him the town or something? I opened my mouth to tell him I had a whole afternoon of ceiling-staring planned when he said, “Because there’s something I want to show you.”

I closed my mouth and looked at him suspiciously, “What?” Hey dude this is my planet, if anyone should be showing anyone anything…

“It’s a surprise.” He grinned, and then, seeming to have read my mind he added, “I know you know this place better then I ever will, that’s obvious. But this is something I don’t think anyone ever even thought of showing you.”

This… was getting a bit disturbing. I couldn’t help sitting up and recoiling, he must have read it on my face because he blushed immediately and said, “I- I’m, not like that! What... what do you think I am?!”

I shrugged, “I have no idea, you said it, not me.” I smiled innocently at him.

He let out something like a “Hrrgmph!” and got to his feet, downing the rest of his coffee in one gulp, then he said, “Come on.”

I looked up at him in surprise, “Right now?”

“What’s wrong with now?” he asked, standing with his hands in the pockets of his pajamas. I noticed what seemed to be the edge of a tattoo peeking out from under his tank-top. This guy was way too decorated. “You don’t have to get dressed or anything, we’re not actually going anywhere.”

I got to my feet, still holding the snack-bar in my hand, “Do you have any idea how weird this sounds?” I had to ask.

His smile changed, it suddenly became real, and a little sad. “Yeah, yeah I do. But it’s kind of important that you come.”

I watched him for a bit, then put my hand on my hip, “I’ll come. But on one condition.”

The smile faded instantly and was replaced by a frown, a somewhat frightened one, I was pleased to note. “What is it?”

I leveled the snack-pack at him, “Tell me why you wear those stupid shades all the time.” I said.

He sighed, and rubbed the back of his neck, looking down at the floor and still frowning, “Alright,” he said finally, then looked up at me, “But you come with me, first.”

I folded my arms over my chest and grinned, “You drive a hard bargain… but it works for me.”

“Good,” for once he didn’t smile, and turned towards the elevator, “get your coat.”
~

Needless to say this felt strange; I stood in the elevator in my nighty, and overcoat, holding a cup of coffee in one hand and still nibbling on my not-so-nourishing breakfast. I was barefoot and my overcoat reached down to my ankles. Tal had thrown what looked like a thin sweater over his shoulders, and was staring moodily at the glowing floor-buttons. It took us almost seven minutes to reach the top floor. Seven minutes of complete silence, of the sound of the tiny engines whirring.

Ding.

The doors slid open, Tal hurriedly stepped out and seemed to glance around nervously. I waited to follow him out, amused and perplexed, “Why do you keep doing that?” I asked.

“Doing what?”

“Looking around corners like that, you expecting an ambush or something?” I hadn’t seen him act this way since the spaceport, he’d seemed perfectly calm at the club last night.

“No,” he said, then seemed to mutter, “I just don’t like being predictable…” I had a feeling that statement wasn’t really aimed at me, but I answered anyway, “Well, in that case you’re doing a really excellent job.” I said with a smile, and stepped out of elevator. We were in the building storage floor. There was nothing here but junk nobody wanted. The walls were bare and gray, the piping was displayed on the ceiling, peeling orange paint mingled with years of dust and cobwebs.

“I think we’re probably the first people to come up here in years.” I commented dryly, sidestepping something on the dusty floor that looked like the remains of some small animal, that had died a very, very long time ago. “I can see their point.” I wished I’d worn shoes.

“We’re not there yet.” Tal said, he was still talking in that strange distracted way, and not looking at me. This was really kind of creepy. What the hell could Tal show me in my own building? And why was I following him like some stupid… following person? For all I knew he could be some kind of mad murdering Monk… thing. It was still too early for me to be thinking straight, but that was no excuse for what I was doing. What made me think I could trust him?…

Well… He did like jazz.

“Come on,” Tal said, starting towards the stairs, apparently there were a few more floors the elevator didn’t reach. “We’re almost there.”

“Almost where?” I grumbled, following him up the metal stairs, they were cold under my feet, and when I tried to use the railing my hand came away black with dirt and rust. “Damn morning fieldtrip…” I mumbled, trying not to wipe the guck off on my coat.

“It’s only two more floors up.” He said, his boots clanging up the steps, one hand distractedly smoothing back his brown hair. The sweater was slipping off one shoulder. The gesture made him look ridiculously feminine.  

“Only…” I muttered, I’d never seen so many stairs in my life!

But they did have an end. Tal stopped in front of a metal door, the same peeling orange as the piping, with a black handle. He just sort of stopped in front of it, and waited for me to catch up.

“Where does this lead?” I asked, a little out of breath, and kind of spooked by the way Tal was just standing there staring at the door without saying anything. He turned to me, “Outside.” He said.
I frowned, “Is that safe?” I asked, I mean, people don’t usually just go ‘outside’ in the city. I’d been on family vacations to Switzerland and there was Oryarok’s Park downtown, where I’d gone with my history class to watch Shakespeare plays. But people here didn’t just ‘go outside’. You didn’t just step through a door into… nothing.

He smiled, and for once I was a bit comforted by it, rather then annoyed. Even if it was that half-mouthed mocking sort of smile. At least it was something I could understand. “Of course it is.” He said, and put his hand on the door handle. I expected it to be locked, but it just grated slightly, letting out a rusty sound, and opened.

A gust of cold wind rushed out at me, streaming my hair and coat out behind me, pressing my nightshirt against me, I gasped and breathed in a load of sharp sandy air. I dropped my coffee mug and felt the warm liquid spread over my feet. I shivered.

The world was full of the sound of the wind, and the loud squawking of birds, flapping wings. They all took off in a huge cloud, hundreds of shrieking black birds, carried upwards on the warm sandy air. I took a step forward, trying to gather my coat around me as I did, I walked out onto… the roof. Gritty cement under my feet, shallow waves of red sand played across its uneven surface, over my toes, it felt so strangely soft.

Tal followed me out, leaving the door open behind him, he strode purposefully towards the low wall at the end of the platform, holding his sweater closed with one hand, he stood over the waist-high barrier, apparently looking down.

I made my way to stand next to him, shielding my eyes with my hand, squinting out at the bright surroundings through a great multitude of sand, and black feathers. “Look down.” Tal said, hardly opening his mouth, but I managed to hear him nonetheless.

“What?” I said, and immediately started coughing, my mouth full of tiny grains of sand. I kept my mouth close from then on and just did as he said, I looked down.

I reached out and clutched his arm, it felt strong and solid through the thin sweater, and he reached out to hold my shoulder. I needed the support, what I saw beyond the wall made my head swim and my knees go weak. Tears sprang into my eyes even as I shielded them from the stinging wind.

It was just what I had been afraid of.

Nothing.

~

So.... whatchya think? So far I've got five chapters of this...